dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
His nipple licking is glorious
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