I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
