friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
