I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
