If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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