did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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