i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
