She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
