I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
