so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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