I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
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