Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize