Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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