I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize