East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
