I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
