I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
