There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
