that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
