Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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