My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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