would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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