The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
