woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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