Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Randomize