Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i drank out of a bidet.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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