No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
