if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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