you guys were way drunker than both of me
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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