just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
