so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
