i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Still dying that you shit outside
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize