I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
