You work out of a Hotel?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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