he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
