I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
