Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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