so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
