Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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