Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
