Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
