she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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