i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
