Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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