And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
