Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
