i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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