dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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