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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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