shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
