You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
