I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
