I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
She said her name was "party"
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
