hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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