Joe is yelling at the trees again.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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