I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Let's paint friendship bongs
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Randomize
