remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
