Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
