Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
