She's JV to your varsity
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
