your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
