Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
