let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
